


Another Way of Coping

by Celörith Támir (Bronze_Heart)



Category: Mai-HiME
Genre: One Shot, Other, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-02
Updated: 2011-08-02
Packaged: 2017-10-22 03:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/233332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bronze_Heart/pseuds/Cel%C3%B6rith%20T%C3%A1mir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natsuki ponders life, the things she's lost, and her future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Way of Coping

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to dedicate this fic to some special people, even though they will never read it: my aunt, who passed away on June 7, 2008, and my Nana, who passed away on August 24, 2010. I’d also like to extend that to those of you that have lost loved ones.
> 
> They say that everyone has a different way of coping. Well, this is mine.

On a vast stretch of road, devoid of life, there existed a precipice stretching out towards the sparkling blue ocean. There was a gap in the railing along this road from when a car careened off the cliff’s edge and into the dark water. The twisted metal served as a reminder to the small few who were present that night.

The lone survivor of that crash sat on the cliff’s edge, her legs dangling hundreds of feet above the resting place of someone she once deemed Important.

From here, the landscape stretched on for miles, and the sun could be seen creeping its way towards the horizon, where sky met water in a seamless combination of oranges, reds, yellows and blues. It was the perfect place for this particular visitor to reflect on everything she valued. Dressed in her grey and maroon biker leathers, Natsuki Kuga pondered life, her past, and her future. Her Ducati sat parked just inside the warped metal of the side railing, quite a ways from her, separating her from the rest of the world.

There was always a breeze in this area, and, being so close to the water, it was usually gentle. It kissed her skin and played with her hair, akin to a mother playing with her daughter’s hair in the early days of childhood. That was a bond like no other, a kinship that ascended beyond simple parent and child; it could not be compared, not even to the relationship that a mother has for her own son, nor even the special bond between two parents. Of course, all relationships within the family were seen as special, but Natsuki had neither brother nor father – who had, of course, abandoned her in the hospital those years ago and never turned back – to even call family.

Her mother lay beneath the surface of the water, trapped in the very vehicle used in her desperate attempt to escape. Natsuki’s canine companion, Duran, also rested there. She used to carry a photo of him with her every day, wherever she went; now that same picture was left in a special place in her apartment, where only she could find it.

Natsuki had brought with her the usual bouquet of white lilies- her mother’s favorite. The ritual of tossing a bouquet of lilies into the water below had become her way of paying tribute to her only family. She held them for a while yet, not wanting to toss them until right before she left. With her free hand, she traced along the cliff’s surface, imagining a set of tire tracks left behind years before. The image of them burned into her mind, and if she closed her eyes, she could see the markings of the tread like they'd never left the surface.

 _Just get out of school, Natsuki-chan? Well, let me just finish up my work here and then we can head home. Did you have a good day today?_

She didn't even go to the old, abandoned building where First District conducted their research; her mom's workroom was always dusty now, the technology outdated and rusting from disuse. In her mind, her bespectacled mother gazed at her with a warm smile on her face; she was the spitting image of Saeko Kuga, minus the glasses. It was one of the few memories she liked to keep, and everything else – the yelling, the arguing, the tension between her parents – could be forgone for better, more important things.

 _Would Natsuki-chan like to go on a walk with me? We can take Duran with us._

 _That man... if he weren’t so hard-headed and stubborn, maybe he’d listen to me. ... I’m sorry, Natsuki. None of this is your fault. Your father hasn’t always been this way..._

“Okaa-san...” Natsuki’s simple utterance drifted on the breeze, carrying silently into the open space and heard by no one. The former HiME let out a soft sigh, gazing upon the white flowers still within her grasp. She knew what it was like to die and to lose something important. She had experienced shutting out the world, trusting no one and confiding in none but herself. Fighting, surviving and information were the only things that kept her going those days. In retrospect, Natsuki wondered what she would have done with herself when it was all said and done.

What would her old self do if everything she had worked for was finished?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Her old self, no matter how revenge-driven and mission-oriented she had been, wouldn’t even have a clue what life would be like after living the life of solitude - of a HiME. She couldn’t have even fathomed the possibility. The light at the end of the tunnel had only been a dream then.

Better to be angry at the world than cry alone at the loss of her only family, Natsuki had believed. Shut away the feelings of sorrow and grief; no one would remember them anyway. Trust had been a word she distanced herself from, like two opposing magnets. Unfortunately, life didn’t always go her way; someone eventually wormed their way into her life enough that she could easily say they were good friends.

Were.

Past tense.

They are _best friends_.

She trusted her with some of her deepest secrets. Quirks and flaws that not everyone would be privy to, especially the most embarrassing ones.

“Shizuru... you would have liked her, okaa-san. She may not always make the best choices, but... she is a good person. She stood by my side, even if I didn’t tell her everything. Shizuru was the first constant thing in my life through all that chaos. Shizuru was the first friend I made since after the accident.”

And that one friend led her to gain more friends over time. Mai and Mikoto were her closest friends next to Shizuru (though maybe she should consider the spider too, seeing as they were on better terms now). She associated with the HiME Sentai sometimes, though opting to stay out when it got too rambunctious. The last time Natsuki participated in that kind of get-together, she woke up with a nasty hangover and a strange, unknown taste in her mouth.

Her mother would be happy to see that she had made some very good friends. Natsuki would most likely rely on them for the rest of her life.

“I’m happy now, okaa-san. Things are going to be okay; the path I walk is much longer than what fate had originally given me.” There was warmth in her voice, completely opposite the lost and frightened child she had once been.

Her cell phone buzzed after a moment’s pause, followed by a second and third one shortly afterwards. Natsuki didn’t have to answer it to know who would be calling; it did, however, leave a good feeling in her chest. She smiled, and then got to her feet. “I better get going. I’ve got some friends expecting me, and they don’t like to be kept waiting.” She turned and headed back towards her bike, pulling her phone out of her pocket and flipping it open to check the missed calls. The bouquet of lilies was left there at the edge of the cliff, even as she put her helmet on and started her bike.

Natsuki sped off on the long, windy road back to civilization, her setting past behind her and a dawning future in front of her. As the sound of her Ducati faded in the distance, a transparent hand reached down and picked up the bouquet the former HiME had left behind.

“Come, Duran. Let’s go.” Her furry companion padded alongside her as she walked away, fading with the wind.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know the cliff was destroyed by Shizuru during the Carnival. By the time I had realized this, it was too late to change it.


End file.
